This post has declined payoutThe past few weeks I have put aside some BTC, with in the back of my mind attending at the first Steem Conference in Amsterdam. But as time went by it became more apparent that there were several reasons why I needed to get real about it. And that is not only financial, although that is quite a realistic part of the deal. There were some stages that I went through in accepting the 'here and now' like it is. But it was difficult to get ZEN, or at peace, with it. Every choice I make comes with concequences and I have my family, they have an advantage over anything in this life.
It took me through some stages where at first I thought I could make it. Maybe just go to Amsterdam for one day. Getting on the train early in the morning and about three hours later I would be there. Meeting some fellow Steemers I would like to meet in real life. Maybe go to the Van Gogh museum, have a drink and diner together, could be done. Keeping the costs low in effect and having a good time. At the end of the day, the trip back home, could be done. But then the first announcements came in about some extra near future costs that made me recalculate my plan. First time I concluded that it would be almost unrealistic for me to go. Even though my family could not understand why not.
So I used part of the reservations for some other use. And I went on with my day-to-day life. But at some point it started to itch, with what ifs and that I really think I would have a good time. This would be a once in a lifetime chance! The first one, in Amsterdam, I could do it by bicycle in a day. Okay, that is in theory, it is still 210 kilometers. And I do not want to put my bike at risk in a city like Amsterdam. According to some Map App it would take me about 11 hours, well I don't think so, but hey, it could be done. Really? No, train still seemed to be the nicest way to travel.
Left it a bit open to luck, chance and hope. But then at a certain point it got very real again, so for the second time I had to convince myself that it was for the best. And there is more to that than 'only' money. And I did spent some of the reserve that I had build up, again. I always prefer to have some reserve stashed away somewhere, than getting short anywhere. That is the way it works for me and I can sleep at night. Although it was actually something called 'mindfullness' that helped me to live my life from second to second, sort of, in the here in now, more or less. It is not perfect you know, it is an ongoing proces.
And while almost at the end of my fourth, and concluding, blog post of this round, I can state that I came to the third confrontation with myself. That is where I realised that it is not really about money. Because, I could actually solve that in some sort or way. And my better half and my offspring both would support my choice, which is also nice to know. But some challenges just are different, beyond direct control, and just need to be accepted for what they are. And it seems like that made my choice final. Maybe you understand this and maybe you don't. And somehow I even wish you don't, but still can imagine. For me, chances are as good as nihil that I'll make it to the conference in november. But I'm okay with that. And if you are going I wish you a great experience and a lot of fun in Amsterdam.
This post is my last, for now, in a series of four, in this round, that I have chosen to set the rewards to 'Decline Payout' for. Thank you for reading.
Light live, love life.
